What you think about yourself you believe and what you believe about yourself, you become.
I once dated a boy who gave power to the words of others. He was everything a first boyfriend should be: beautiful, kind, loving, dreamy and romantic. He did everything right, he was Mr Right but the reason he is my past and not in my future is because he did not get it. I would say these words to him without fully comprehending their meaning, without being aware of how deep they came from.
My Mr Right had reached his capacity to grow in every aspect and the only thing that could change him was his father. He had such a yearning to gain his father’s approval that he clung on to his every word, to his detriment. In retrospect, I don’t think his father was not proud of him; he was a good son that did not cause trouble, he loved his mother and took care of his sister but it seemed in his father’s eyes all this was never enough. Apparently, Mr Right overheard his father once say to his mom “this boy is useless!” without any context or elaboration-these were the words that became his life. He held on to these words as if they were the cliff he was hanging on to for dear life, they became his bread and butter and even when he stood against a wall in the silent of the night dragging smoke from his cigarette, these words became him and he became the words. Neither of us knew what his father had been upset by nor will we ever know the context of the conversation or the end of it but all we knew and what now became our life was that “my father thinks I am useless”. He became these words and therefore, he was… Tried as I did to convince him otherwise, remind him of his accomplishments; nothing I could ever say or do would be enough to convince him otherwise, I even started to believe that had his father found out he had overheard that conversation and explained, Mr Right would have still believed he was useless because the words we no longer those uttered by his father. He had taken those words, breathed life into them, nurtured them and branded himself with them and wore them on his feet. He had given power, given life to words and created a whole world with these words and denied everyone access.
This is not about my former Mr Right; side bar: if he is a former “Mr Right” should the title remain like that of a former president? He was not wrong at the time so should I assign a title of what I think of him now even though I speak of him in the past tense? Anyway, I digress. This is about the power we give to words that subsequently hold us captive in a dingy room where no one knows we reside there. Giving power to words is like giving life to a carcass and carrying it around with the hopes of bringing it to life. The energy and power we assign to words spoken by us or others, specifically the words that keep us shackled is energy and power taken away from your success, your happiness and your essential self. Each time he recited these words to himself, he put up another brick on the wall that separated him from all the wonderful things; every time he repeated these words to himself he reinforced a trap that kept him in this cage of uselessness so no matter how many times I showed him he was not useless, my words fell short of the fort he had built around himself and every time I would remind him of all the things he had achieved my efforts failed to unlock the prison he had created for himself. So, eventually, I realized nothing I did would ever be enough.
When you realize this and the other person does not, you have some decisions to make because I learnt: you can’t make a person that does not get it, get it.” It is up to the person to appreciate that words, good or bad- are nothing without the power we assign them. So take your power back! Reassign it, redeploy your power to something that gives you a return on your investment, to something that will yield positive results and bring you peace of mind. The reason we accept these words as the bed we made is because we believe that we cannot change or that we are our personality. Yet we forget that we can change, you can change! Change the frequency of your vibrations and tune into a higher energy; it really is that simple- like changing radio stations. The amount of time and energy you have spent on this particular investment curating your image and reputation is not important, your well-being, your progress and self-development are things to worry about. So stop convincing yourself that you cannot change because “this is who I am” or “this is my personality”. Who you are today is a choice that can be different to the one you make tomorrow; it is a choice you can start thinking about, believing and eventually becoming because who we are and have been is not set in stone.
Let the awareness of your choices steadily unlock all the shackles that have kept you down so that you can spread goodness into all the nooks of your life. You hold the power.
With Love,
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