Have you ever really wanted something that you could understand exactly why it was important for you to get and so you worked hard to get it and then you got it? How often does that happen? I can say for myself, not too often and I can confidently say that when I get the thing I have wanted and by thing, I am referring more to the opportunity than a material item- I concave into a pile of doubt and imposter syndrome of “these nice people chose me”. A lot of people go through a similar sequence of events and because of that a lot of people stop at the dream stage, where no one will ever know about it and therefore tell you how ridiculous you are for even thinking you could achieve that/be that. I wonder how many answers to life’s questions are in waiting and will remain there because of this reality.
The reality is that we judge ourselves before others can get the opportunity, it is a mostly subconscious defense mechanism of taking the sting out of someone’s words before they say them by saying them to yourself first. This is incredibly harmful to our innate creativity because it does not allow for the full blossoming of our ideas to encourage the at-scale constructive feedback that would allow them to flourish. It is also that we are our own biggest critics so what might be “less than perfect” we tarnish as rubbish and relegate ourselves to the “waste of space” category. We think we are quality-checking and saving the world from yet another bad idea. This could not be further from the truth.
This piece is not original in its premise, in fact, it is probably as old as time. The call is to recognize one's greatness and that it will never be realized if you do not try. Roosevelt’s “the man in the arena” speech is up there with the most quoted in this regard as it speaks to trying and maybe failing but trying nonetheless, being in the arena. More recently, Marianne Williamson reminds us that “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate” but we postulate as if we are because we have no experience of being in the arena. Therefore, this piece is a call to take one step in the direction of the thing you want the most, the thing you understand why is important to get and can work hard to achieve it. It is a call to muster all the courage that you have to make a single action towards it and then watch as the dominoes fall into place to make it happen. The beauty of life is that we don’t possess all the knowledge to make things happen, that is a beautiful thing for some but an unimaginable space for others. It is beautiful because it allows us to tap into the wisdom of the world by making one move we cause a reaction that taps into someone further down the conveyor belt who also makes a move that causes another reaction and before you know it, the result of that one action makes it back to you as a path that you can follow and therein lies another opportunity to practice being in the arena.
Taking the step or trying is not to say that you will conquer all your fears or save the world, it is more likely that you will fail and fail again but more importantly, it is that you will have data to work with. You will know yourself better than before. Trying should not only be focused on the successes that are potentially at the finish line but rather on the search for who you are. We need to recognize and live out our own story, Emily Bernard said in her book Black is the Body “I carry the trove of my mother’s stories inside of me like an organ. I adorn myself with them, like jewels or thorns on a crown. Stories of her rage, pain, and bewilderment over what she had witnessed and experienced…”. Sometimes we are unaware of the baggage that we carry from our parents and primary caregivers or it is that we are unaware of the content of the baggage and so, we carry it as if it is our own. When you put action behind what you believe you start to learn which stories hold water and which stories are not true for you because they were not yours to begin with and thus trying is the act towards your becoming.
Therefore, this piece is the age-old reminder to “tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” No truer words have been spoken than these by Paulo Coelho so start now, send that application, start that business, run for that position and if you fail, it is a redirection, a lesson, and part of being in the arena. Be reflective and open to feedback so you can grow as you go. Consider this, perhaps you are the person you have been waiting for.
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